Opportunities for connection and closeness, created by the impact of COVID-19
Life isn’t always easy, even in the best of times. I don’t know about you, but this pandemic hit me at a moment right when I thought I had figured things out.
My practice was doing great - I get to work with a team of therapists whom I respect, trust, and genuinely like! I really enjoy being around them.
I spend time with a great group of clients who are wonderful and remind me what bravery looks like every day.
My family is healthy and we were looking forward to planning social gatherings and enjoying springtime together.
And then, just when I thought I had it all figured out, life presented so many new challenges, testing how to embrace change and how I could find strength in adversity. Some of which I have to experience and others that are impacting people I love dearly. My first reaction was sadness, followed by disappointment. Okay, my first reaction was a healthy dose of anger.
Physical distancing….Home schooling….Working remotely….Masks….Gloves….
Shelter in place….Living alone….The list continues.
Before COVID, we knew the world held a lot of pain and brokenness. Now more than ever, though, the media is giving us a glimpse into the suffering that lies just beyond our view. We are reminded at every turn that ‘it could be me’ who gets sick. Our hearts ache for those living apart or unable to say a loving goodbye. Our born-in need for connection is evident by our response to being deprived of it.
The challenges we face during shelter-at-home orders can feel unconquerable. Impossible. Never ending. ‘When will I see my mom?’. ‘When will I hug my best friend again?’ ‘Will we ever gather closely together again?’
We are being presented with the opportunity to regain our balance and adapt all over again. The whole world has been stopped in its tracks at the same time. This causes uncertainty yet invites creativity. We are being forced to do things differently. With the right lens, these changes can be seen as launching pads for new and/or better aspects of our lives as compared to pre-COVID times. You can do this. You can find the opportunities that lie below the surface of the inconveniences, fears, challenges, and chaos.
Admittedly this is a BIG challenge and it is tempting to doubt your strength. So when you do, I invite you to pause and reflect on how to overcome adversity. Reflect on your life and identify a time when you made it through something rough. Remember how you found strength, who you leaned on, the knowledge you gained, and the skills that allowed you to overcome those trials. This trial may not feel manageable. You can find strength, though, because you already have the tools you need to prevail. You’ve used them before.
Here is the big opportunity COVID offers to us. In all of our humanness, we embrace the limitations that accompany our strengths. We aren’t meant to endure emotional or physical pain alone. The whole world is experiencing this at once. Our born-in need for connection is evident by our response to being deprived of it. Italians singing from balconies, Denver residents howling at 8 pm, and virtual happy hours scheduled around the world. We need each other and COVID is showing us how much better we are together than alone - even when we are apart.
As a seasoned therapist, I’ve heard countless clients share their struggles with reaching out for help of any kind. There is a deeply seeded narrative that says ‘if you need someone else, or show emotional vulnerability, you are weak’. This belief system was created to protect from pain, but instead is a block to feeling deep connection and peace. THIS is the biggest opportunity COVID-19 is bringing to us as people. The opportunity to dispel the myth that connection doesn’t matter or that vulnerability is bad. Normalizing our need to feel accepted and valued. Our longing to feel connected to those who matter most. We are healthier and stronger when we are in relationships that nurture vulnerability and connection. ANY relationship - not just romantic relationships.
So COVID has stopped us in our tracks. Knocked us off our foundation for a bit. It has created an amazing opportunity to embrace vulnerability, form deeper connections, and recognize all we can overcome when we believe it is possible. We are all human. We all need connection.
Perhaps you’re reading this blog with 20, 33, 59, or 72 years of life behind you. You’ve endured a lot and have years of experience standing back up after being knocked down. You have the ability to tackle this challenge....and the next one. The opportunities await greater times and deeper connections.
The therapists here at IRTC have providing effective online therapy for our clients since early March. We have worked out the bugs of technology and have great tips and tricks to share so you can ensure you have a great experience. If you are longing for connection or you and your partner are struggling to find your way back to each other, don’t ‘wait until COVID passes’. Jump in now. We are here to catch you and support you. No one should go through COVID alone. We just aren’t wired that way.